I don’t want to be my old self again when I’ve forgotten the Guy above because of my wrath. I am afraid of myself being out of control again with my emotion. Although, I prayed to Him to give me wisdom and strength before I bent out of shape, I failed Him. I had this regret, “hindi ko na lang sana pinatulan”. I tried to deny the monster in me, but I couldn’t help it. Pinili kong manahimik at umiwas sa lahat ng naririnig ko, ’cause I know that it is the right thing to do. Pero paano kung mapuno ako sa katahimikan ko?

I know my friends out there know what I am talking about here. I’ve reached my boiling point yesterday because someone messaged me on Facebook using my ex boyfriend’s identity. I stop communicating with him for a long time. We’ve been together for how many years so I know that it’s not him. I said to stop messaging me but she didn’t. I know from the start who it is. There’s only one person that I know who will do this. I am not stupid, I know how to play this game. The fake account still keeps on sending me message, asking for the email address and password of the old FB Account that me and my ex boyfriend is using when we’re still in the relationshipshit. How annoyingly that she’s forcing me to do so. To tell you honestly, after the break up with my ex, I did not bother to log in to that account, EVER AGAIN. I’ve forgotten everything so how could I? I keep on telling her off to stop pestering me but she keeps on asking the same question all over again and started saying things about me. I ask the fake account, “why were you asking?” and she said that she wanted to deactivate the account so people in their lives won’t be able to see it and they already have new chapter in their lives. And because of that account, they’re always arguing. Well who cares? I am much more cared about how me and my family gonna survive everyday, what clothes I am goin’ to wear, and how I am going to feed my cats. Are you serious with what you’re calling new chapter? If you have new chapter then you shouldn’t be get affected with the past, you shouldn’t be bother with an old account. You even accused me of ruining your relationship and my ex wasted how many years being with me. Do you really know what you’re talking about? In my entire life, I’ve NEVER think of getting involved with someone else’s relationship. In fact, I am more use to being cheated rather than being a mistress. Wasted my ex’s years of his life? How can you say that if I am the one who got fooled and being played with? You only know us but not our story. I was breathing in and out to calm myself. How much I tried not to say bad things and nasty words but I did. She ended up her message by saying GOD BLESS to me and I ended up our conversation by saying GOD BLESS YOU TOO FOR WHAT YOU’RE DOING. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND”.

I know my ex is kinda bastard and a cheater but he never showed any disrespect even though we broke up. So I am sure that he’s not behind this. To YOU, you know and I know what you’re doing, nice try. And if you think that I shed a tear, you’re totally wrong. After what you’ve done, you only proved that I am a threat to your relationship and that makes me flattered. If I want to get my ex back, I already did but don’t worry, I am not gonna go back under his pants. Sorry not so sorry, for me you look desperate, insecure and living unhappy life. It’s funny how you’ve spent so much of your time bullying me. Why not make your self busy with other things rather than being busy with someone else’s life? What you were doing couldn’t stop me for being happy, a happy person.

This is why I am ignoring and not dealing with this kind of people because I am becoming a MONSTER whenever you hit my button. If you’re true and kind to my face then I will be. But if you don’t have any respect and do something bad about me, I’ll guarantee, I’ll be the same.

I once again prayed to God, to take away all my anger. To destroy and kill the monster in me and I am sure He’ll do. To YOU, I am praying that you’ll find peace and happiness that you don’t have.

I will end up this rant by saying thanks to all my friends and relatives who sent me message and ask if I am ok and to those who listen. You all know who you are and thank you for listening and joining the ride. I am lucky enough to have you all in my life. After this post, I am going to continue living my life to the fullest, chase my dreams and wear my my biggest smile.

💛

Lin

THE BLACK PARADE

You may think that wearing head-to-toe black outfit is like portraying Morticia Addams or like attending to funeral or even the goth aesthetic. But hey, let’s change that perspective.

Embracing this all-black-outfit I wore at the Fund Raising event in our Church as part of the committee. It represents beauty, elegance and formality.

It’s not obvious in this photo that I struggled on looking for the attire to perfectly suit the event. I actually pulled out my dresses, tops, and skirts in my closet and did a mix matching.

Worry No More

It looks like I am wearing dress but I am not. The black turtle neck top paired with black skirt made the illusion of like wearing a black dress. #fashionhack

Also, my belly isn’t obvious because wearing black makes me look skinny, hihihi. #fashionillussion

My Luna Bag to add up the all-black vibe.

Outfit Details

What do you think of my all black outfit? I feel confident and comfortable with it. I love it and hope you do too.

BTW, the Fund Raising Event is a success. God really make ways to meet all our needs.

Photo Credits: To my cousin Jaja

HMU: Yours Truly

SLIP DRESS X TURTLE NECK

Whenever I hear “slip wear”, I always think of something slinky and sexy. They tend to look exactly like lingerie. Not to mention, it reminiscent of 90s fashion. Yes, 90s fashion is coming back in style this 2017 and I am sure you know about it. Yay! It is my favorite trend of all because it reminds me of my childhood days.

If you’re following me on instgram(@lingoongeung) I am sure that you’ve already seen me wearing this slip dress that I scored from “ukay”. It is best worn if you layered it over a round neck shirt or a turtle neck. 

Layered with Turtle Neck

I can be grunge in this outfit if only I wore booties or oxfords but I don’t think that it’ll be appropriate to where I am going.

I wore this outfit when I attended our Sunday Service yesterday. I wanted to be simple and not to overdress so I paired it with my fringe slip on plus my Luna Bag.

Outfit Details

I will end this post with outfit details. And also, credit to my cousin Jerr for patiently taking these pics.

💛

Lin

DOORBELL

Something happened yesterday. I still can’t get over about it so I decided to write this and share with y’all

It was around 7:00 am in PNG (5:00 am PH Time)when I received message from my sister(she’s in Philippines). I was wondering why is she emailing me early in the morning. I mean, it is not the usual time for her to wake up. I thought of like something happened and they wanted to inform me so I checked her message.

Her: “Ate”(big sister)

         “Someone door-belled at 2:00 am, midnight”.

         “I was scared so I sneaked and no one is there”.

I was worried on her first message and I thought of these things: The house where they’re staying is haunted like there’s a ghost something like that or a criminal trying to worm that house and they’ll get robbed. I felt a bundle of nerves whenever I think of what is happening nowadays(referring to PH). I was gonna ask her who might be doing it. But instead of asking her, I continued reading her message.

Her: “I checked the CCTV to find out who it was”.

I was actually expecting that she’ll mention a name. BUT…………

 Her: “……….and I found out that it’s a CAT”.

Hahahahaha, I died laughing because I imagined my sister that she did not get enough sleep. She woke up very early to review the CCTV and only to find out that a cat jumped in to the wall where the doorbell is. Just imagine that, hahahahah. Thanks to the CCTV, we discovered who the burglar is.

Now I know that the doorbell isn’t just for human but for cats too, hahahaha.

Ok case closed.

 

Lin

I MET JARED LETO

I skipped work, prepared myself, hopped in to the car and headed to Thirty Seconds to Mars Concert. I was wearing 30STM shirt, denim ripped jeans and a pair of sneakers. I was bursting with excitement, like a kid on his first time in the carnival, I don’t know how to explain that feeling. Maybe it’s because I know that I will meet JARED LETO??Telling to myself, “Now I will have a chance to meet him and the rest of the band”.

I arrived at the concert venue late in the afternoon. I was nervous of going into the meet and greet, I might faint, lol. But this is my chance, so I waited patiently.

After MARS spoke to us a bit, we lined up and to get our posters and CDs signed. Jared was rushing through autographs. Finally, it’s my turn to get mine signed. He looked at me with his ferocious blue eyes. I got star-struck and in cloud 9. He smiled and shook hands with me. My heart is pounding out of my chest and got me at a loss for words. ‘Come on Lin, this is your chance to talk to him” I whispered to myself. I did not have hesitations to talk to him and so I did:

Me talking to Jared:

“Thank you Jared for this amazing opportunity. I’ve waited for so long and it’s incredibly life experience meeting you and the rest of the band(Shannon and Tomo). You know what, I’ve wrote in my blog about you to tell people that I like you and who you are, I hope you read it. Can I have a photo with you?”

Jared responded “YES”.

I was crying because of happiness – tears of joy. I was like “Up in the Air” feeling. I got my camera, I am really close to Jared. I’m about to click the camera, I heard an alarm, and everybody is rushing and shouting, “Time’s up, the concert will start”. I was disappointed, they did not let me to at least have a short time to get a photo with Jared 😦

I opened my eyes and I found myself lying in my bed. The alarm that I heard is my phone reminding me that I need to get up. I realized that I was just only dreaming. “Damn, I thought it’s real, I thought it’s really happening. If I knew that I was only dreaming, I shouldn’t have woken up when I heard the alarm.”

It’s a funny story, hahaha I know and even though it “Was a Dream”, at least I got to meet Jared Leto. I always keep this in my mind that “one day maybe we’ll meet again”  cause I am going to “MAKE THIS DREAM A REALITY”.

Photo CTTO

Lin

MY FIRST AND FAILED ATTEMPT ON VLOGGING

Back in 2005 when we don’t have our own computer in the house, I usually go and rent at the Computer Shop just few walks from our house. That’s also when Youtube got introduced to me and I always watch music videos of my favorite band/singer and at the same time, listening to the music. Back then, I also discovered vlog. I am sure that you are familiar with vlog or video blog. Vlog is recorded by blogger to intentionally deliver the information that they purposely introduce to people. It’s blogger’s way to express what they wanted to tell rather than just writing. It’s either product review vlog, “how to” vlog, travel vlog and make up vlog. Just few of my favorite vlogs that I usually watch on Youtube. I got fascinated by Vlogging and it is one of the things I wanted to do. I’ve always thought of that it would be super cool  if I have my own YouTube Channel. I got curious and I had conversation with a blogger friend who happen to share her a vlog recently and I asked,  “Is it easy to vlog?” she answered, “It’s just like talking to yourself”.  A question popped in my mind, “Am I really wanted to do this?”. To be honest, it’s not easy for me although I have experience in editing clips.  #1 I am not confident, I may look awkward on video, #2 I can speak English but not super fluent, I might struggle on delivering the script, #3 I am afraid of people, who will judge, criticize, and say negative things about my video and I don’t want it to happen. Those 3 things are holding me back. But why I don’t give it a try?

Just last weekend, I took photos for my Project #OOTD(see post here). But before taking photos, I put make up and thought of filming it. So I got my phone and set it up. While setting it up, I’m thinking of just taking a normal video or use time lapse. I decided to use time lapse so my video will be in fast motion and I’ll just add music on it. I’ve expected that my video will be in a normal speed but I was wrong. See how my video came up with.

 

It is totally fail, hahaha. From 20 minutes normal time of duration to 34 seconds. That was too fast and you wouldn’t even know how did I put the make up and what products I used. Although that it’s a failed attempt, I am still proud of it ’cause it reminds me that I’ve tried vlogging and I know in myself that this isn’t the last that I’ll try and explore it because, I’ve learn 3 things: #1Do not be afraid to fail, #2 It’s ok to fail but but never ever fail to try and  last, #3 Do not use time lapse, haha.

 

💛

Lin

FANTASY

She lives in fantasy, in the world that so unreal. She believes in everything. In all that she see, in all that she hear, in all that she feel.

A Prince promised her of forever. She believes in it. In all that she sees, in all that she hear, in all that she feel. 

But it was only her imagination. There’s no Prince, the Prince was never there, he’s just a ghost. She believed in it, in all that she saw, in all that she heard, in all that she felt.

She escaped in this fantasy, world that is so unreal, full of lies and broken promises. She took her shovel and burried all what she believed in, what she saw, what she heard, what she felt.

“She’s now finally awaken from her FANTASY”

Photograph and HMU: Yours Truly