I don’t want to be my old self again when I’ve forgotten the Guy above because of my wrath. I am afraid of myself being out of control again with my emotion. Although, I prayed to Him to give me wisdom and strength before I bent out of shape, I failed Him. I had this regret, “hindi ko na lang sana pinatulan”. I tried to deny the monster in me, but I couldn’t help it. Pinili kong manahimik at umiwas sa lahat ng naririnig ko, ’cause I know that it is the right thing to do. Pero paano kung mapuno ako sa katahimikan ko?
I know my friends out there know what I am talking about here. I’ve reached my boiling point yesterday because someone messaged me on Facebook using my ex boyfriend’s identity. I stop communicating with him for a long time. We’ve been together for how many years so I know that it’s not him. I said to stop messaging me but she didn’t. I know from the start who it is. There’s only one person that I know who will do this. I am not stupid, I know how to play this game. The fake account still keeps on sending me message, asking for the email address and password of the old FB Account that me and my ex boyfriend using when we’re still in the relation
shipshit. How annoyingly that she’s forcing me to do so. To tell you honestly, after the break up with my ex, I did not bother to log in to that account, EVER AGAIN. I’ve forgotten everything so how could I? I keep on telling her off to stop pestering me but she keeps on asking the same question all over again and started saying things about me. I ask the fake account, “why were you asking?” and she said that she wanted to deactivate the account so people in their lives won’t be able to see it and they already have new chapter in their lives. And because of that account, they’re always arguing. Well who cares? I am much more cared about how me and my family gonna survive everyday, what clothes I am goin’ to wear, and how I am going to feed my cats. Are you serious with what you’re calling new chapter? If you have new chapter then you shouldn’t be get affected with the past, you shouldn’t be bother with an old account. You even accused me of ruining your relationship and my ex wasted how many years being with me. Do you really know what you’re talking about? In my entire life, I’ve NEVER think of getting involved with someone else’s relationship. In fact, I am more use to being cheated rather than being a mistress. Wasted my ex’s years of his life? How can you say that if I am the one who got fooled and being played with? You only know us but not our story. I was breathing in and out to calm myself. How much I tried not to say bad things and nasty words but I did. She ended up her message by saying GOD BLESS to me and I ended up our conversation by saying GOD BLESS YOU TOO FOR WHAT YOU’RE DOING. WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND”.
I know my ex is kinda bastard and a cheater but he never showed any disrespect even though we broke up. So I am sure that he’s not behind this. To YOU, you know and I know what you’re doing, nice try. And if you think that I shed a tear, you’re totally wrong. After what you’ve done, you only proved that I am a threat to your relationship and that makes me flattered. If I want to get my ex back, I already did but don’t worry, I am not gonna go back under his pants. Sorry not so sorry, for me you look desperate, insecure and living unhappy life. It’s funny how you’ve spent so much of your time bullying me. Why not make your self busy with other things rather than being busy with someone else’s life? What you were doing couldn’t stop me for being happy, a happy person.
This is why I am ignoring and not dealing with this kind of people because I am becoming a MONSTER whenever you hit my button. If you’re true and kind to my face then I will be. But if you don’t have any respect and do something bad about me, I’ll guarantee, I’ll be the same.
I once again prayed to God, to take away all my anger. To destroy and kill the monster in me and I am sure He’ll do. To YOU, I am praying that you’ll find peace and happiness that you don’t have.
I will end up this rant by saying thanks to all my friends and relatives who sent me message and ask if I am ok and to those who listen. You all know who you are and thank you for listening and joining the ride. I am lucky enough to have you all in my life. After this post, I am going to continue living my life to the fullest, chase my dreams and wear my my biggest smile.